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Tools to help you come back to yourself
These exercises were developed to help you find calm and steadiness β€” before, during, or after difficult moments. There is no right or wrong way to use them. Move through at your own pace.
Breathing Grounding Body-Based Mindfulness Self-Compassion Gentle Movement Sensory Reset Reflective Writing

Breathing Exercises

When we are anxious or overwhelmed, our breathing becomes shallow. These exercises help to slow and deepen the breath, which signals safety to the nervous system. Choose one that feels right for you today.

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A note before you begin: This exercise works best when seated comfortably. It is normal to feel a little lightheaded at first β€” if you do, return to natural breathing and rest.

This technique uses your senses to anchor you in the present moment. When your mind is caught in the past or future, your senses always bring you back to right now.

  1. Find a comfortable seated position and take one slow breath before you begin.
  2. Look around and name 5 things you can see β€” a colour, a texture, a shape, anything in your surroundings.
  3. Notice 4 things you can physically feel β€” your feet on the floor, the fabric of your clothes, the temperature of the air.
  4. Listen for 3 things you can hear β€” nearby sounds, distant sounds, quiet sounds you might normally tune out.
  5. Notice 2 things you can smell β€” or, if scents are hard to detect, bring to mind two smells you find comforting.
  6. Notice 1 thing you can taste β€” or simply notice the sensation inside your mouth.
Take your time with each sense. You can move through this exercise as many times as you need.
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Try this: Place one hand on your belly and one on your chest. As you breathe in, let your belly rise first. Your chest should stay relatively still.

Grounding Techniques

Grounding exercises help bring your attention back to the present when you feel disconnected, anxious, or overwhelmed. They work by directing focus to something immediate and physical.

Cold water has an immediate effect on the nervous system β€” it is hard to stay in your head when your body is responding to something physical and immediate.

  1. Go to a sink and turn the cold water on.
  2. Hold your wrists under the water, or splash some on your face.
  3. Notice the temperature. Notice the sensation on your skin. Notice the sound of the water.
  4. Stay here for 30 to 60 seconds, or as long as feels useful.
This technique is especially helpful in moments of intense distress. Even running cool water over your hands while paying close attention can help shift your state.

This is one of the simplest grounding techniques. You can do it anywhere β€” in a waiting room, at a table, or before a difficult conversation.

  1. Sit in a chair with both feet flat on the floor.
  2. Press your feet down gently. Notice the pressure. Notice the texture of the floor beneath you.
  3. Notice the weight of your body in the chair β€” the back of your legs, your hips, your lower back.
  4. Take one slow breath. Notice that you are here, in this room, in this moment.

You can repeat this anytime you feel yourself starting to drift or dissociate.

Body-Based Exercises

Trauma is held in the body. These exercises help release tension and reconnect you to physical sensations in a gentle, manageable way. Move slowly, and stop if anything feels like too much.

This exercise involves intentionally tensing and releasing muscle groups throughout the body. The contrast between tension and release helps the nervous system shift out of a stress response.

  1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes if that feels safe.
  2. Begin with your feet. Curl your toes tightly for 5 counts, then release. Notice the difference.
  3. Move to your calves. Flex them gently, hold for 5 counts, release.
  4. Continue up through your thighs, your belly, your hands (make a fist), your arms, your shoulders (draw them up to your ears), and finally your face (scrunch it tight).
  5. After releasing each group, take one slow breath before moving on.
  6. When you have moved through your whole body, rest for a moment and notice how you feel.
You do not need to move through every muscle group every time. You can start wherever you are holding tension, and work from there.

The butterfly hug is a bilateral stimulation technique developed for trauma processing. It activates both sides of the brain and can help reduce the intensity of distressing feelings.

  1. Cross your arms over your chest, resting your hands on your shoulders or upper arms β€” like you are giving yourself a hug.
  2. Close your eyes, or soften your gaze.
  3. Begin tapping slowly and alternately β€” left hand, right hand β€” at a pace that feels gentle and rhythmic.
  4. Continue for as long as feels helpful.
  5. As you tap, you might focus on a calming image, a safe place, or simply on the sensation of the tapping itself.
This technique is used by trauma therapists and is safe to practice on your own. If you find it brings up strong feelings, you can stop at any time.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness does not mean clearing your mind. It means noticing what is here, without judgment. These exercises are short, gentle, and can be done anywhere.

This is a brief, accessible mindfulness practice. You only need one minute.

  1. Set a quiet timer for one minute, or simply decide to stay present for a short while.
  2. Notice what is happening right now β€” sounds, sensations, the rhythm of your breath.
  3. When your mind wanders (and it will), simply notice that it has wandered, and gently return your attention to the present moment.
  4. There is nothing to achieve. Noticing is the practice.

You can build up to longer periods over time, but one minute is always enough.

Self-Compassion

Many survivors find it easier to offer compassion to others than to themselves. These exercises gently practice turning that kindness inward.

This is a short practice adapted from the work of Dr. Kristin Neff. It has three steps, each targeting a different element of self-compassion.

  1. Acknowledge what is difficult. Say to yourself, silently or aloud: "This is a moment of difficulty." Or: "This is hard." Simply name what is true.
  2. Remember that you are not alone. Say: "Suffering is part of being human. I am not the only one who has felt this way."
  3. Offer yourself kindness. Place a hand on your heart if that feels comfortable. Say: "May I be kind to myself. May I give myself what I need right now."
You do not have to believe the words fully for them to have an effect. Offering kindness is a practice β€” it becomes more natural over time.

Gentle Movement

Movement helps complete the stress response cycle. These suggestions are gentle and do not require any equipment or experience.

Many people hold tension in their shoulders and neck without realizing it. This gentle sequence can help release that in just a few minutes.

  1. Sit upright in your chair. Let your hands rest in your lap.
  2. Slowly roll your shoulders forward, then up toward your ears, then back and down. Repeat 3 times.
  3. Let your right ear drop gently toward your right shoulder. Hold for a breath or two. Return to centre. Repeat on the left.
  4. Slowly drop your chin toward your chest. Hold for a breath. Slowly lift it back to centre.
  5. Finish with one big shoulder shrug β€” draw them all the way up, hold for 3 counts, and release with a breath out.

Move slowly and gently throughout. There should be no pain. If anything feels sharp or uncomfortable, stop.

Sensory Reset

When we are overwhelmed, intentionally engaging the senses can help interrupt the stress cycle and restore a sense of safety.

Having a physical object that feels comforting to touch can be a powerful anchor during difficult moments.

  1. Choose an object that you find comforting β€” a smooth stone, a piece of soft fabric, a bracelet, a small stuffed animal. There is no wrong choice.
  2. Hold it in your hands. Notice the weight of it. The texture. The temperature.
  3. Run your fingers slowly over the surface. Pay attention to every detail you can feel.
  4. Take a few slow breaths while holding it.
Some people keep a comfort object in their bag or pocket so it is available whenever they need it β€” before court, during a difficult appointment, or in any moment of stress.

Reflective Writing

Writing can help process feelings that are difficult to speak aloud. These prompts are invitations β€” not requirements. You do not need to share what you write with anyone.

Choose whichever prompt feels right for where you are right now. You do not need to answer them all.

  • What is one thing that was hard today? What did I notice in my body when that happened?
  • What is one thing, however small, that helped me get through today?
  • What do I most need right now β€” rest, connection, movement, silence, something else?
  • If I were speaking to a close friend who had a day like mine, what would I want them to know?
  • What is one thing I would like to let go of before I go to sleep tonight?
There is no right way to journal. You can write a few words, a full page, or anything in between. The act of writing β€” even imperfectly β€” is enough.